


Still Ill

by Marrvelous82



Category: Morrissey (Musician), The Smiths
Genre: I'm Sorry, M/M, songfic????, this is really bad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-23
Updated: 2015-08-23
Packaged: 2018-04-16 18:22:05
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 383
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4635507
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Marrvelous82/pseuds/Marrvelous82
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Johnny is extremely unnecessarily angst-y about nothing.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Still Ill

The song was coming up on the set list and Johnny was dreading the moment he had to play it. He couldn't even bear to hear Morrissey sing those lyrics. It was too painful, too meaningful. But it was the last song on the set list and he couldn't dissapoint the crowd now. As he played it he almost completely disassociated himself from his body, flashing back to the time the song was inspired.

"Are you sure you want me to?"  
"Yes." Johnny answered eagerly just before their lips passionately met under an iron bridge. They stayed there until the early morning hours talking, sometimes simply staring. Johnny felt so strongly for this man who was mainly looking for a friend to take advantage of when he was bored. Johnny knew it was the truth but it didn't make it much easier to except. 

His heart fluttered but his stomach turned every time they touched. He felt so lost and alone. But when Morrissey came along he forgot about everything, like a drug he couldn't quit. 

"Moz, I can't do this anymore." He said one of the many times they had visited that bridge.  
"Why not? I thought you were happy."  
"You don't really love me. This is becoming tired and old. I-I can't be with you any longer or I'll... I'll only fall harder for you."  
Silence filled the air once again.  
"Okay. But I want you to know that i'm always available for you, Johnny." He smiled, but it didn't seem like the same genuine grin he usually gave. It seemed so rehearsed.  
And with that they kissed once more. A soft, romantic but very quick kiss, which they knew would be their last. and got into the car. Johnny dropped him off at his home and they both knew Johnny wasn't coming with him this time.

The set was over. He made it through the song. but it still hurt. As soon as he could he went backstage to drown his pain in booze on the couch. Not making eye contact with Morrissey the whole time. Just as Johnny had zoned out He notices Moz sitting oddly close to him. They were alone. It was quiet. Finally their eyes meet as do their lips. And Johnny felt temporarily whole again.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm so sorry please don't yell at me.


End file.
